Back and positive

I'm having an awful time wondering about where to start again!!

If you've followed my Blog you may of noticed the.

                  I'm back,
                                                         Been a long time,
                              New start
and
                                      trying a routine and failing posts.


I am going through a huge life learning thing at the moment and part of this has been to give everything up and just be as ill as I feel.

                                 This is an amazing but highly scary place to be.

but in starting this early febuary, I am already in a place now where I am catching up on things I cannot and will not cancel, I am getting help and starting to feel a little in control. Although I feel quite frantic still. I am getting lots of quality me time and can see this working.
I have been in a lot of pain but I can see I so need this.

Giving me this extra time brings me to my Blog and this feeling I have about it. I feel the need to write things in a blog. I have for many years and have tried and failed to consistently keep at it. I had no idea why I had this blog need. At first it was to try an get free things, try and get reviews and just to generally show what I can do and make and if anyone liked it they could see what I was up to but as soon as I started Wendy's Crafts Blog, I knew there was more to this. This led to My life and loves and in between twinned with the need to succeed in business I started other pages and groups.
My life and loves came about from my illness I have. I knew I was ill but also knew I would be better and felt a need to document as much as I could. I have 1/2 done Blog posts galore and photo's of literally everything I have done in the last 6 Years but unfortunetly I am still here ill and have had to now come to the realization I am probably worse than I think or will believe.

This has been such a positive thought though as it has brough me to actually posting this and starting my Blog again but it an even more positive and unharming myself way.


So, I have this extra time, this Blog need is back and what with my self care learning I am not in need of it to be perfect. I am however over thinking how why and what but am on the fast track to just do it!!

Bringing me again to now

My "I'm back" post of 2017
                                                              BUT
This time; I don't know when I will return. I really want it to be daily and try to get organised and business like but as I am learning to love myself and stop worrying what others think, I have no stress. Which means I don't put pressure on myself anymore which means I'm here, I'll hopefully be back and soon if I can but if you find this interesting, want to help me on my journey. Please Subscribe, leave me a message or just a like one of my posts. Any little gesture of positivity will keep me going, make my want to post stronger and my need to get it out there quicker. All that helps me on my journey and gets me closer to being happy.
This time; I am doing it with the need to know that if anyone feels the same as I do and I find a way out or at least a way to feel happy and I share this. If I help one person get better quicker than I did then my Blog is worthwhile :D
                                                         and that I cannot deny!!

This time; I am doing it and being kinder to myself :) It is my Blog. There is no right or wrong time to post! Whether there is a day, week, month or year gap in the post. This is still my life and loves and what I want to do!!! You may actually help someone, be interesting, make money, find a new friend, connect with old friends, find true love..... or not one person will read this, will like the post, will leave a comment or connect with me but I may still be helping. I am in fact helping already. I am helping myself.

Wow.... Deep..... Rest. xx
Hope to be back soon.

Day 6!!! :D :D

Quick pop in... late again.
I was hoping to spend time on my Blog today and finish off the post from yesterday but I have been so busy trying to get myself to rest up!!!
                                    YES, really. I have been super tired today after yesterdays amazing day that I just knew I needed a day off but I have found myself tidying, emptying dishwashers (well just the one), Setting up and using my Wii!!!! Designng and printing my planner pages and stickers.
                                    So, so much but also resting up, so I don't crash.
Had another amazing day although I have felt much more tired today and sore!! but my mind feels totally different and it all feels a little easier to push n now.

Anyway. My first Day 6 post :D :D :D

Day 5 and a bit of a post :)

O.k, so it is Day 5 and I am here and feeling a proper post.
I have so much going on in my mind and so much I want to write, I have no idea how this post is going to go. I am just going to type and see what happens.
I am so excited at the moment. I cant remember the last time I felt like this.
I have managed to implement a sort of routine, planner system and it seems to be working!!
I have been told many times to plan things, Write a journal etc but never been able too. I think because in my mind it has to be done a certain way and I am actually unable to achieve the way I want at the moment.
So I expect everyone by now has heard of bullet journaling.... Well in case not. It is huge at the moment. I looked into it a few months ago and it just didn't seem right for me... I didn't really understand it and so in scouring the internet I found this page from themommadiaries

This spoke to me much more than the bullet journal and so I saved it and printed a few out to see how I got on and it was fab. I let go of all my expectations I had of beautiful planners and just worked on getting some kind of routine.

The main thing I wanted to track get a routine for was my water intake. I really feel that getting enough water is my number 1 priority to getting better. I have tried all sorts of things to get better. From Gluten and Dairy free diets to supplements and vitamins. I really feel I have tried everything I possibly can to try and get better and the one thing out of everything is water helps!! So this is my first task. To drink enough each day :) 

I'm not too fussed at the moment about my diet as I have tried so many different detoxes and diets to try and help my fatigue and they never helped and so I am going with a Listen to your body kind of mode and eat what it wants..... being sensible!!

Ha ha, So currently for breakfast I have a chocolate twist :D and a cup of tea. This seems to keep me going and feeling much better

I had tried my own sort of thing a while ago and it worked for a bit but was just not perfect enough for me. I'll try and get a photo :)

I am going to post this now so as I have posted for my first day 5 and will hopefully come back and finish it later as I have lost my mojo and have too much going on at the moment :D

My first Day 4

I'm having some pretty good days this week. I so hope they continue. I am new into planning and have found a page layout I just love. I hope to make an actual proper post about this one day but for now.
This is my first day 4... therefore this is my new routine working :D

Trying to post daily ...

 Just a quickie today. I'm here and I'm good :)
Had a lovely time today. Jackson asked to sleep over last night and it was so lovely having him and not feeling exhausted. I am shattered now as we have been busy playing and tidying but there is a huge difference between tired and exhausted with fatigue. I actually like being tired. Knowing I have done something worth while and resting up. It makes a nice change.
Just going to try and chill for the rest of the day because I deserve it :D :D
Day 3 done :D

Leaf

So, I haven'y mentioned my leaf!! Just really quick cause I want to get this feeling down in words. I saw an ad on FB a few weeks ago for something I had thought up. If I had proper time and energy I so would of patented it!! but alas it was actually out there already... ish. It is called the leaf.
What I wanted was a step/sleep/meditate tracker that wasn't a watch as I can't always wear a watch... plus most of them are ugly. So anyway this item... the leaf came up in my newsfeed and I was like "ahhh, that is just what I neeeed"
                           So I clicked on the link. read up and it was EXACTLY what I needed BUT it was $120 Dollars!!!
Really couldn't afford it but I was feeling really low my finger just literally went through the checkout without my mind and now I am the very happy owner of a new piece of jewellery that actually helps my life amazingly. Hopefully I will get round to detailing this more but here is a link to them, should you want to peruse :D :D

                                                       The Leaf by Bellabeat Websit

How to loose Two stone in Three months and put it back on again in Two weeks!!

Update on my life and loves;
Routine; still not there
Diet; Had an amazing detox, lost 2 stone, didn't appreciate how I was feeling. Fell off the wagon and put 1 1/2 stone back on and feeling like poo now.
Meds; Managed to get off my pain killers, Now detoxing from all other meds. In a bad place pain wise so having to take more pain meds
Positive feelings; all gone
Quick catch up

So in December I was staying away for a few days visiting friends. So I took a book my friend gave me called Medical Medium.

**Affiliate Link**

 
I have wanted to try and do a bit of reading lately but can never fit it into my day. Going away seemed like the perfect opportunity to read and it was. Once I started reading I couldn't stop. This book was amazing. It has chapters on several different illnesses and has a list of good foods and Supplements that can help "cure" these illnesses.
The guy who wrote the book believes he has a spirit that talks to him and helps diagnose peoples complaints and tells him what they can do to help get better. Now I have tried so many different things to get better,

• Gluten free diet
• Dairy Free diet
• Detoxing
• Juicing
• Medical Medicines
• Herbal Medicines
• Acupuncture
• CBD therepy     

to name a few. So why not this :)

Anything I can do, just to see if it helps, I haven't found a cure yet but I am happy to keep trying and so at this time in my life this book really spoke to me. I couldn't afford everything that was listed in the book for my illness. I was concentrating on 4 main chapters.

1. Chronic Fatigue
2. Fibromyalgia
3. Migraine
4. Adrenal Fatigue

So what I decided to do was try and buy the top 3 suggestions in each category.
As we all know supplements and diets are very expensive but I was determined to do this. So much so, it told me to juice celery every morning and have a shot!!! I hate Celery but to me it made sense if my body needed it and I hated it so wasn't eating it maybe that was what was wrong with me... anyway long story short, I followed this book and did my detox. It was hard!! very hard but I stuck it out for a full 20 days which even took me over Christmas and New Year!! For Christmas dinner I had a plate of roasted vegetables and a tiny slither of Turkey as a treat!!! Yes a treat ha ha no profiteroles for me.
I was determined to do this in the hope that I would find a cure.
I never really noticed anything different apart from the fact that juicing every morning and making a smoothy was really exhausting for someone suffering with chronic fatigue. Having to prepare meals from scratch using only natural organic products and supplements was exhausting and expensive and I never noticed my energy levels changing. In fact if anything I was more exhausted making up my meals but I did it and in the first 3 weeks I lost a stone!!! I felt good for that!!
I carried on dieting but gradually started adding a few different things in along the weeks. Eggs came first. It is amazing how delicious eggs are when you haven't ate them for a month!!
I used to make Pea, Sweetcorn, Turmeric and Sea Salt Omelettes. Sounds bland and disgusting - Looked even worse but coming off of a detox was the best thing ever!!!

I added a bit of Ham in here!! How exciting!!

After a while I started adding meat into my diet and felt a lot stronger. I was going on the rule of if my body fancies it, Let's have it as long as it isn't sugar!!
Soon as I was getting very bored of my diet and so as not to fail I introduced some gravy into my Stew's. This was like Heaven! It did have a little impact on my stomach but the taste was delicious and I found out I could live on this every night for tea and still loose some weight. I lost over 2 stone altogether and then I just seemed to stop loosing, I wasn't eating Cake and Chocolate, I was eating freshly prepared meals and no pre packaged foods. This weighed heavy on my mind. Why suffer and not feel much better, not eat all the foods I craved if I wasn't loosing weight. It really didn't seem fair.
Then May happened!! My birthday and so I allowed myself some Cake and Party food - WRONG DECISION!! I have slowly declined and fell off the wagon massively and since May have nearly put on my Two stone!! I feel huge and lifeless and bloated.
What I am trying to say here is that even though this book didn't cure me. When I was on this clean eating diet and even with the gravy, I didn't see how well I was doing. I was always focussing on the negative as I look back from my bed today I can see how well I had got. Yes I still suffered with fatigue and sometimes it was bad and I would loose a day but now I have just lost 3 all in a row and I believe it is due to my bad eating habits. I so wish I had stuck to my diet as I now have to go through the detox again and it isn't a nice place to be. Anyway although this diet from the book didn't heal me. It was an amazing way to detox and gives you some amazing insight to these different illnesses and although I am not cured I am glad this book came into my life to teach me what I have learnt and so wanted to share that with anyone it may help. Just know, It isn't going to be your magical cure but it may just help you get into a good place to get on with other things like now I am starting a journey with Bowen and going to try out forever living Aloe Gel and the way I am going to detox this time is with the clean 9. Something has to help and I am willing to try anything. If it doesn't I am happy to keep trying, learning and hoping.
I can now see a definite difference in my pain and fatigue whilst dieting. I just didn't realise it at the time!!
I will be trying to document my new journey and hope to loose my weight again and regain my energy I didn't realise I got back!!