123 I'm Gluten Free.

So a few months ago I was feeling down, My down days had got worse and I was in bed again more than I was out. Something clicked in me and I decided something had to be done. I was going to start eating healthy again. Now this is easier said than done. I have always said if you are going to diet whether for health or weight. Your head must be in the right place. So, I knew the time was right and this time the diet was not for weight issues. It was to see if I could get more energy!!  I knew I was going to try Gluten Free again as I had dabbled in this before and I did think my energy levels got better. What I learnt from last time is this;

• It is very hard!!

•  Having pain, Fatigue and trying to cook every night is almost impossible.

• What happens if you make these new recipe's and don't like it? You have no food and no energy left!!

• This is also going to be very costly and hard work getting certain ingredients.

 You really have to take it as slow as you can getting your store cupboard staples but also need so much to start. So I decided to get prepared and scoured the internet for some great Breakfast, Dinner and Evening G/F Meals. What I didn't expect was to find Deliciously Ella 

 

  *affiliate link*

Ella  was everywhere, How had I never heard of her before? Her book looked fantastic but I needed it now!! and it was 10pm. arghhh, but wait, when you look further she has an amazing website and ap that is full of Recipes and advise. I was extatic!! I paid for the Ap, which is just £3.99 and although I hate spending out I knew I needed an easy way to get some good quality meals and then set about finding out what I need. The good thing about Ella is that a lot of her Recipes use the same ingredients so although sound rather samey really are not. I made a huge Shopping list;

Pumpkin Seeds
Sunflower Seeds
Flax Seed
Chia Seed
Almonds
Walnuts
Cashews
Brazil Nuts
Pure Cacao Powder
Spinach
Butternut Squash
Brown Rice
Oats
G/F Pasta
Medjool Dates
Nutritional Yeast

and much much more ha ha. I put my list into sections that I knew would be more beneficial to buy as I knew I wouldn't be able to afford everything. So I knew Almond Nuts were going to be a huge buy as I wanted to make Almond Milk and Butter plus it is a staple in a lot of energy foods and snacks. One thing I didn't factor is once I got to Morrisons to do my Shop that they would have the Deliciously Ella Book on sale!!!
Oh no what to do, do I sacrifice some ingredients for a Book. Hell yes!!! haha I love Books.

So in it went to my trolley, I was so excited. It has been a huge life saver. What I didn't realise at first what I was doing was actually going on a Gluten/Vegan Rawish Free Diet. This just happened. I have since tried adding Meat and Eggs to my diet to see if I feel any different and am  now back on the Gluten/vegan root for a few weeks as I am keen to see if it actually affects me and will do a post on what I have learnt.

Almonds are needed in large quantities and I use a lot of Cashews :) A good staple to buy in is also Pumpkin and Sunflower seeds :) *affiliate links*

Ella's book is amazing and really well thought out. It has sections in her book on all the different food groups; Grains, Nuts and seeds, Pulses, Vegetables, Fruit etc and she gives really good information and nutritional advise on each. I have learnt so much about what I am eating and why I am eating it. She has her story at the beginning which is lovely to read about how she got to where she is. I am so glad I bought this book as it has helped me so much. I don't always follow the recipes as written as don't always have a lot of the items needed and I have made some really delicious foods and snacks and I want to share these with you. To maybe help you if you are on a journey like me or just to show that Gluten/Dairy free can be beautiful. My taste buds have opened and my food range has widened. Don't get me wrong it has been hard and I haven't been able to stick to it ridgedly as my illness has got in the way. It hasn't given me my miraculous recovery I was hoping for but I do think it has given me a better quality of life and made me stronger to hopefully start pushing myself more and more without crashing. I want to share this journey with you and maybe help people trying to do this themselves but I don't want this Blog to be all about illness and recipes. I also want to show the fun times I have. Times I spend with my Grandchildren and times I manage to craft. Share tips and advise and things I learn and I hope that is is exciting enough to grab you and want you to read more and follow me on my journey. 

My Book, Well read and tagged

 

 So back to Ella,  she has an amazing Blog and posts regularly on all different topics and is always adding recipes. The only downside I see to following Ella is that somethings she posts things that are very pricey. Some juices she Blogged about for a detox she did sounded fantastic and just what I felt I needed in my life but when I checked them out it was like £70 for a one day pick me up and I just dare not look how much a retreat stay was she wrote about was but I do totally understand if she gets given things she has to Blog about them. I know I would snatch the offer up. Also things like Medjool Dates. I started off using them because Ella rates them very highly but as the costs were rising I changed to just normal dates and although they are not as juicy, They do still work.  

See the difference in price! If you can afford them definitely go for Medjool but if not normal dates with a bit of Water, Milk or Date syrup work just as well.

So with my savvy saving and Ella by my side I am hoping to be in this for the long run.
I am so excited to share my Gluten free, sometimes Dairy Free diet with you and hope you enjoy reading. xx

Keeping Organised - Free Calendar

So one of the things that has changed recently is that I am able to keep records easier of my day which helps to look back on. This probably seems an easy task for some but when suffering with a chronic illness things like this are the last thing you can do on a bad day and when you have a good day you just want to roll with it. Simple tasks like colouring my days on a calendar were just not possible before due to depression, pain and fatigue but now I colour each day in with either black for bad, green for o.k and orange for good and it is nice to see how my weeks are going. I still have a lot of green days but not so many black as I have had in the past and it is lovely to colour in orange as I remember a time there was no orange in my life :D

I still get bad days when I am unable to do this and times that just fly by and I forget but for the most I can hazard a pretty good guess how it went or I do actually remember. It is a good step in the healing direction.

I suffer from a lot more pain in my life at the moment. I think this is because I am much more active now but luckily I am able to have six sessions of physio from the Doctors and they are helping me with my posture and core muscles and I am really enjoying learning as I think I am ready. Before when I was given appointments to go to I wasn't ready for them and letting people down and also breaking down in front of people was very stressful for me and would just bring on my symptoms stronger and make me worse. I think it is very important for both your mind and body to be ready to get better from this nasty illness. Before I had way too much put on me. Right in the beginning when I was first ill, I was going all over the place to different help groups. This I now realise was way too much. I am now however in a place where I am enjoying my appointments and learning all these exciting things that can help me in my life. This illness is such a slow process and I am such a go get it person, Well I was and still am in my mind. It is so hard to sit here and not be as active as my mind is but at least I can now see some progress. (if you would like to catch up on info about my illness, my first post is here I don't want to be going on and on about my illness but it is a huge part of me and so will come up a lot)

If you are interested in trying this Calendar colouring for yourself or would just like a pretty Calendar. I am offering a free PDF version of my June Calendar for the rest of this Month.  Just visit my Craft Facebook page Wendy's Crafts and find it in the freebies tab. 

 

More Calendars will be available soon in my Etsy Shop. Something I am enjoying having the time to work on. Something that has been in my mind to do for years and I am finally able to make a start selling. This is a huge step for me and so exciting.

Thank you for reading. If you would like to continue following my progress with getting better and my Crafty makes. Please sign up to my Blog. There is an Email sign up on this page to the right. 

Hope to be posting again soon

 

Wendy. xx

Getting back on track

Although a lot has changed in my life since my last post. The one thing that hasn't changed is wanting to write in my Blog. Sadly the thing that stops me hasn't changed much as yet and is still there but I am doing what I can. I have started just jotting things down and not worrying about publishing. Hoping that on better days I will be able to edit and post as and when. Everything I do I am thinking about posting. When I make a meal I am thinking of blogging about it. When I get to go out I am thinking of blogging about it, How I wake up in the morning I am thinking of blogging about it. Honestly everything and as I am having a few better days. I seem to have some pretty great things to blog about and don't want to miss anything. So hear goes. A quick catch up and let's see if I can get this Blog rolling.

So, I am trying a Gluten/Vegan free diet. I tried back last year and noticed a difference but never had the strength to keep it up. This time I have been on it for over 12 weeks and have learnt so much already. I hope to cover this a lot in my Blog as there is a lot to learn!!

I have started Yoga arghhhh I have so wanted to do yoga literally all my adult life but just never found the time or then was too ill but I have started. I can't manage every week but I have been 3 times and feel so proud.

I am going to start doing reviews of items I find help me in life. Be it from food or information. I need somewhere to keep everything I have learned and there is nowhere better than my Blog. Here is a sneak peek at somethings that have been helping my life :D

I am 42 now (here is my original about me post) and I feel so much more positive then when I turned 40. I have learnt so much. I still do not understand why I have had to go through this awful time and still get very bad days but I am hoping the better ones will come more often. I have learnt a lot more Crafts and although I still don't get that much time to practice them when I do I will be posting about them here and more in depth on my Wendy's Crafts Blog page.
I feel an excitement more now than I ever have in the last 4 Years which is so cool and such a nice feeling :D I hope to keep my Blog posts short, simple and easy to read and so what better place to end here and give me time to edit more posts.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy. If you have any questions or suggestions on anything you feel may be suited to my Blog. Please leave a comment. Even to say Hi. Every comment I get is just amazng. Thank you.
Wendy. xx

June, cake and update

 I have just found this post unpublished from back in June time. Seems a shame not to publish it as it is so hard for me to write them some times :-)
Oh wow, Been away from my Blog longer than I meant but for good reasons, not bad. For once I have not been sleeping the days away. I have been busy, super busy :-)
I stayed at my daughters for a few days looking after the Grandchildren while she went away for a few days. This was hard but very rewarding. However exhausted, tired and sore I was. Each night I was so proud of what I had achieved that day. I really enjoyed my time with my Grandchildren. Thinking that I would probably crash and burn after this. I had actually agreed to make a Cake for my Friend. So had more to push me on. I have been trying to decorate Cakes for a while now and just cannot get it. I am never fully happy with my Cakes. I can see they are good for a learner but I just cant get the finish to be better. I don't think I will ever get to a sale able standard so I make cakes for cost to friends and Family. This is the one I made this Week.

I had a bit of a nightmare as I had some Edible printed sheets made to go on but I couldn't get them peeled of the backing without crumbling. So I had to go for Figures. They work just as good but would prefer everything to be edible. I am happy with this Cake but wish I had taken more time over the Rainbow as it is very messy but good for a first try. Plus it was 1am when I started the rainbow and 2am when I got to bed last night.
So obviousy when writing this in June I was feeling good but I am now going through quite a hard time. I have done lots and lots since June as I seem to have kept the motivation to make things going but just seem so down and tired all the time. I think I am expecting too much from myself really as there have been a lot of changes.
Although I am not feeling too good, I have agreed to take on making the evening meal every night. Which is huge really when back a few Years ago I couldn't even stand the sight of most foods. I can seem to push past the fatigue and get this done and I feel very good at the end of the day knowing I have achieved this.I have been doing this for about 3 weeks now. So that is a good new routine I have made :-)
I have been quite up and down since June. Feeling guilty for not blogging, wanting to get so much done and not being able too but actually sleeping very well. I had to give up the magnesium baths because I couldn't afford the flakes and the Tablets because I couldn't get out to get more at the time. I have since had my bloods done and apparently I am not lacking in anything but really want to take my results to my specialist. Unfortunately I had to cancel my last appointment with him as was just too poorly to go out. So really need to remake an appointment to see him but things like this just seem to be too much for me at the moment. I am just happy plodding along in my own little world although I could do with more energy please.
Well that is a quick update on where I am today. I hope it is happier next time I get here. I have also started writing back on my Craft Blog here as well. So that is huge also as something I have wanted to do but just never had the motivation. So really I am doing lots.... it is just my mind thinking I am not. Probably because the Blog is more a mental thing than physical?? Not sure but really helps if you think things out and truly see what is going on..... I can't seem to last a whole day without feeling exhausted at 4pm ish and thinking of all those lost hours that I could be Crafting or Working is quite sad but I suppose what I need to focus on is what I am actually getting done between 9am and 4pm because last Year... it wasn't much.... just a lot of sleeping!!
I'll leave it there with that bit of information for me to process :-)

Did they work?

Well not sure if it is the Epsom Salts, the writing things down or the fact that I have spent most of the last three weeks resting in bed but I feel different today. My head feels clear and although I still feel tired, I feel I may be able to push on. This is a good feeling. Three years ago, even a year ago I was unable to push on. I thought I had lost my life and was going to be bedridden for ever. My Doctor has been amazing. He has really been on this journey with me learning and listening to all the information I have found out. Looking up the Medication I have heard about that helps and once checked it out has prescribed it for me to see how I get on. I am not on huge amounts of Meds but what I do take I feel really helps me and don't think I am in a place to give them up like some people are doing. I only ever take the smallest amount possible because I react quite severely to them. Like when I was first given Codeine I just used to take half a tablet and this helped. I really don''t understand people who say they are on handfuls of Tablets but they don't do anything...... Well why take them then? I hate to discuss medication really because I think it becomes a "who takes the most" quest but it is something I need to touch on as it is a huge part of my life. 
The crowning moment was when I got prescribed Pregabalin. It is quite a funny story really as my Mum also suffers with symptoms a lot like mine and has also been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. She got given Gabapentin and was having a really good time on them. Meaning she was up about and active. Feeling very well. So I went to my Doctor to tell him about these tablets and see if he thought I could try them......Well as some of you know one of the other symptoms of this illness is forgetfulness and what we call Brain Fog or Fibro fog. I get a lot of this and in particular this day I had it quite bad. My Mum had wrote the name of the Tablets down for me but I forgot to take it with me and what with all the information I had gathered from online, I couldn't remember what they were called. All I could remember was it was something like pregnant. So was saying it is  pre something. The tablets I was actually asking for was nothing like Pregnant!! they were called Gabapentin. So he looked up a tablet that sounded like pre something and came up with Pregabalin. He checked it was o.k for me to take them and prescribed them for me. Once I got in the car and checked my note. I was so disappointed with myself as I had the wrong Tablets. I went home and googled the ones I had and they were actually so similar to the ones I wanted it was uncanny. I thought about them for a few days before I took them but then decided to give them a go and well they are my life changers. They started working straight away. I felt quite high on just one Tablet but happy and so, so chatty it was quite funny and so lovely to feel like this. They soon settled down and I have been able to get out of Bed every day and get small things done each day. I am like a completely different person. At the beginning I was very anxious that I had this new life and it could be taken away so quickly if the Tablets stopped working but after a few Weeks I got used to being able to get up each day and the anxiety wore off. It wasn't a normal life still but such a difference. I was actually able to get things done. I even managed to finish tiling the Kitchen Wall!!
That is one really sad thing about this illness. I told my Specialist the other day about tiling the Wall and he was speechless, I think because I knew how to do it rather than the fatigue thing!! I was always so able to do things. I could do anything that was needed or I would give it a bloody good try before I asked anyone to help me and now I have become ill. Sometimes I cant even get in the bath.... It is just so sad and when at my lowest this is where I go.... to remembering how able I was. How can you not get sad and depressed? Tears are coming now just writing this and I can never see this feeling going. How can you get over that?? 
Anyway getting on to a  brighter note;

Small Rainbow Tuxedo Bow's for Isabella.
A bow for every outfit :-)

Larger Twisted boutique Bow for my Friends Grandaughter's
Birthday

Larger Twisted Boutique bow. Needs more practice
but very happy with results. Took me all day to get it looking like this and hours watching the same youtube video over and over again but I love learning new things,

 I have been making bow's since my Granddaughter arrived and been practicing on bigger ones lately for when she get's older and also for a Friends Granddaughters. It is something I can do whilst resting. For a while I thought I would never get back into Crafting but now..... thankfully I am back and really enjoying it when I feel well enough. I am trying to do more resting activities. Learning to rest a lot if I have to do something physical. So I am learning at last but it is so hard as if I am having a good day all I want to get everything done whilst I can. 
So just to introduce you to my Facebook Craft page if you are into that sort of thing. It is here; Wendy's Crafts  I mainly make for friends and family but trying to make it look professional enough to sell if someone ever wanted to buy my items and to also look into making a bit of money with minimum energy :-)

Low energy and baths

Having a low energy day today which is the worst. Not much pain though which is a plus and don't get very often. It is just so hard to do anything when you have no energy.
I have managed to get into bed now and scoffed nearly a whole large bar of chocolate and you know what? .... It does make me feel better. It cheers me up because I get so sad with having to be like this and I am sure it really does help a little with pain and fatigue. I am trying to muster up enough energy to go run a bath and get in. To non sufferers this may sound silly but a bath is one of the highest energy suckers of all. The getting up and washing the bath out and running it is a nightmare. I then need to rest whilst it is running and then getting in is fabulous and the resting but getting out is so draining it is unreal. 
 I have recently been trying Epsom Salt Baths. If I make it to the bath tonight, this will be my third Epsom one. Still not too sure as to whether there are any benefits to adding the Salts. At the same time I started taking Magnesium Tablets as well. So the Two together should give me an extra boost of Magnesium which apparently most people with cfs and Fibro are low on. I can but try and hope for an improvement.
Just to add, I put in 500g of salt to my quite full bath. I have researched this and this is the correct amount. I also have some Magnesium Chloride flakes to add to Water to make some Magnesium Oil spray. These apparently are different to Epsom Salts, which are Magnesium Sulphate. **You learn something new every day :-) I have done my Homework and currently have 5kg of different Magnesium salts in my House.... I hope they work :-)
On the bright side, I designed a logo/Facebook profile picture for someone today and they loved it. I am trying to find away to earn some cash by low energy things I can do. I have been doing quite well lately. Just made a batch of fathers day Sweetie Bag toppers that sold quite well and now working on Bags of Sweets for teachers gifts. Also trying to sort measurements out for small and large Chocolate bar covers but the Chocolate keeps getting ate ha ha. Out of 3 large bars and 10ish Two finger Kitkats I have made this;

These are for my Granddaughters Christening but hoping they will be sellable :-)
Just took a break and maybe this writing things down really works as gone and washed the Bath out and my bath is currently running. I am also a whole large bar of Chocolate down now as it has all been finished :-)
Well I'm hoping my ramblings can maybe help a few people on their road with this illness or even someone who doesn't have this to understand just how hard it is living with it. Maybe it will even help myself with moving onwards and upwards. 
Going for a long Epsom Salt bath now :-)

Where it all started :-)

About me :-)
I am a 41 Year old Granny :-)
I had my Beautiful and amazing Daughter when I was 17. She is undoubtedly the best thing that has ever happened to me :-)
She is now 23 and given me the most adorable little Grandson, Jackson he is 2 and a Granddaughter, Isabella she is 10 Months.

My Mum and Dad are the most amazing Parents you could ever ask for and my Brother is Cool, everything he does seems to do well and he has been there to help me try to succeed like him but alas I am not to be successful in Business. (I will however keep trying because I do enjoy being self Employed and Self Sufficient)
It kind of starts here;
I went to School (didn't like it) 
Left School and started training to be a Hairdresser. 
Had my Baby at 17 with my wonderful Boyfriend, We split up, I became a Single Parent.
I have been this for 23 Years now and although I feel I have done a bloody good job with my daughter I always had the feeling from a Teenager that life was so hard but thought that it was the same for everyone. I found it a constant struggle to get normal everyday things done in a day. Even at the age of 13 I couldn't manage a whole school day. I used to have to put my head down on my desk in class and relax, I never slept in school just needed rest but normally once I got home I did. I got teased for having naps and so felt that I was lazy. I always felt I was overweight and lazy. 
Being a single parent is hard in so many ways the worst for me, apart from the fatigue was Money. I think being a mother from such a young age I never grasped the concept of finance. Being a Hairdresser, I managed to keep a few shifts in the Salon and having such a close Family I never felt bad by leaving my daughter to do this. Although I didn't leave her until she was about 5!! I was a very over protective parent ha ha
I had lots Jobs. I could never find one I felt satisfied with. I always got let down and felt used. I would go out of my way to do things for my colleagues and managers and then when I needed something there was never any help. I realise now I was expecting too much and taking things too personally. I was putting too much effort into my Job but to me it wasn't just a job it was someones business and I wanted to do the best I could to help them succeed. This leads me to a fantastic part of my life. Six Years ago I became self Employed. 
My daughter had been brought up to the best of my ability and left Home with an amazing job and a Lovely Boyfriend. They had set up a wonderful and comfy Home of their own. My job was pretty much done here although I will always be there and go running if she needs anything. Soooo,  I was able with the help of my parents and my Brother to set up my very own Cafe. I was super confident, Super  independent and super Happy or so I thought. My Business after 3 Years had to close. I couldn't make it work financially, I was physically and mentally exhausted but couldn't see it and when it closed I had a break down. Now I hate that word as everyone has their own thoughts as to what a break down is and in my eyes I am not really sure what it is. Mine was a sleep fest. I slept for Months and my life became .........Blank. The only way I can describe it and I have only just been able to do that with having a lot of help analysing the situation, is it was just like being encased in a warm comfy see through protective ball, Travelling through life in a world of my own. Everything seeming fine and then all of a sudden the ball cracked open and I was left stranded in a Hot barren Desert island with no one or anything around in a scary, complete nothingness. I had support from my Family and a Few very good friends that I know would do anything to help me but it still felt like this and it was weird!!
I have been here in this Dessert for over Three Years now but things are slowly growing it seems, It has taken a long time and a huge Journey but sometimes it does feel like a world I could live in again and something I want to talk about.
I have been through a lot...I have had help from a Counsellor, tried CBT therapy, Tried a Pain Management Course and various People to help me. A lot of these I still haven't been able to complete due to still being too poorly. It has been a long journey  but I am slowly finding out who I am and how to live with what I have and I want to talk about this, Write it down. Maybe remember it? I'm not too sure but I do know if I could help just one person going through this or similar that would be cool.
I suffer with a lot. The Three main biggies are;
Chronic Fatigue
Chronic Pain
Cluster Migraines 
These along with lots of other problem are grouped together and called Fibromyalgia. I have come to hate this word Fibromyalgia because in the past it was known to be a diagnosis the Doctors and Specialists gave to patients that they didn't know what they had. Now a days though, I believe it really has a standing of it's own and is being more understood. I however still hate the word!! 
The problem with Fibro is that there are so many symptoms to it and not everyone has all these symptoms. So it is very hard to diagnose and understand. For instance  one of the biggest symptoms for me apart from what I have already listed above is sore Feet. Now this even makes me laugh when I say it, So I don't expect anyone to take me seriously when telling them. Hence why I rarely ever discuss it but my Feet are always so painful. From being Teenager up to the present day I have had terribly sore feet. I used to think it was because I did Hairdressing. Some days for a Hairdresser are 12 hours long and being on your Feet most of that, You can understand having sore feet but no one ever used to mention theirs. Mine would be burning and feel like they itched but couldn't be scratched. Later on in life I noticed that I still had sore feet even when not doing long hours but then of Course the Cafe opened and again I was working long hours on my Feet and suffering again. It was only since having my break down and finding out about Fibro that I found this was a symptom and everything started making sense. Unfortunately being single means I have noone to rub my feet :-( I have always been so independent and never needed a man in my life that it is only now I am understanding that there are some positives to having a partner. 
I can't exactly remember how I found out about Fibro but I do remember when I fist read about it, I thought the article was talking about me. It is just like all your life your not quite sure what is going on. I used to say to myself, There has got to be something wrong with me. Life cannot be this hard. Then you just think it is and get on with it. Then one day. You find out it isn't meant to be and that you really have been ill for the past 20 odd years. You are not lazy. You are just poorly. You then go through another whole host of horrible, frightening emotions but that is something for another post. This one was just supposed to be a bit of an introduction to who I am and what I have been through. There is no way in one post I can capture the despair, pain or journey I have been on but that is what I am hoping to do in the long run. If only just for me to remember things and be able to see how things are changing and what I am learning but if I can inspire or help anyone else going through similar and you would like to join me on my Blog Journey. Then that also would be super cool :-)